Monday, June 28, 2004
Re: [famous_quotes] Re: Golf Quotes
A collection of Golf quotes (unedited).
Frank
"I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against
me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win."
-Arnold Palmer
"Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than
nineteen years of dealing with him across the desk." -Grantland Rice
"The fundamental problem with golf is that every so often, no matter how
lacking you may be in the essential virtues required of a steady player, the odds
are that one day you will hit the ball straight, hard, and out of sight. This
is the essential frustration of this excruciating sport. For when you've done
it once, you make the fundamental error of asking yourself why you can't do
this all the time. The answer to this question is simple: the first time was a
fluke." -Colin Bowles
"Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your
opponent is teeing off." -Bruce Lansky
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf
ball." –Jack Lemmon
"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my
one iron, 'caus I know even God can't hit a one iron." -Lee Trevino
"I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the
clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine." -Bruce Lansky
"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only
get to play one round." -Ben Hogan
"My best score ever was 103, but I've only been playing 15 years." -Alex
Karris
"Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at."
-Dave Hill
"Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a
one iron in his bag and squinty eyes." -Dave Marr
"The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics of the
act while you are performing." -Dave Hill
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller
hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." -Winston Churchill
"Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don't
you?" -Ben Hogan
"You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole
with only two in your pocket."-Lee Trevino
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five."
-Paul Harvey
"A lot of guys who have never choked, have never been in the position to do
so." -Tom Watson
"I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out
of them" -Harry Tofcano
"Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely
nothing but an ulcer." -Tommy Bolt
"Golf is based on honesty, where else would you admit to a seven on a par
three?" -Jimmy Demaret
"It's nice to have the opportunity to play for so much money, but it's nicer
to win it." -Patty Sheenan
"I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games." -Ben Hogan
"Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease." -Bertie Forbes
"Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money." -Lee Trevino
"There are no points for style when it comes to putting. It's getting the
ball in the cup that counts." -Brian Swarbrick
"Golf is twenty percent mechanics and technique. The other eighty percent is
philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie,
cussedness, and conversation." -Grantland Rice
"The harder you work, the luckier you get." -Gary Player
"Victory is everything. You can spend the money, but you can never spend the
memories." -Ken Venturi
"Golf is 90 percent inspiration and 10 percent perspiration." -Johnny Miller
"The number one thing about trouble is...don't get into more." -Dave Stockton
"It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on." -Lee Trevino
"Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard
grounder." -Jim Bishop
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work
at it, it's golf." -Bob Hope
"The only shots you can be sure of are those you've had already." -Byron
Nelson
"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at
it." -Jimmy Demaret
"Most golfers prepare for disaster. A good golfer prepares for success." -Bob
Toski
"You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit
it." -Sam Snead
"The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put
into it." -Bob Allen
"Golf is good walk spoiled." -Mark Twain
"We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs. He(Gerald Ford) never
decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot...At least he can't
cheat on his score- because all you have to do is look back down the fairway
and count the wounded." -Bob Hope
"You can't lose an old golf ball." -John Willis
"Indeed, the highest pleasure of golf may be that on the fairways and far
from all the pressures of commerce and rationality, we can feel immortal for a
few hours." -Colman McCarthy
"My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies- one to walk the left rough,
one for the right, and one for the middle. And the one in the middle doesn't
have much to do." -Dave Hill
"When he gets the ball into a tough place, that's when he's most relaxed. I
think it's because he has so much experience at it." -Don Christopher(Jack
Lemmon's Caddie)
"A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of
your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing
over your knees." -Stephen Baker
"There are three ways of learning golf: by study, which is the most
wearisome; by imitation, which is the most fallacious; and by experience, which is the
most bitter." -Robert Browning
"Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well."
-Craig Stadler
"Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that
the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle." -Jackie Gleason
"I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play
from the rough, not just me." -Seve Ballesteros
"We speak of eyeball-to-eyeball encounters between men great and small. Even
more reaching and revealing of character is the eyeball-to-golfball
confrontation, whereby our most secret natures are mercilessly tested by a small, round,
whitish object with no mind or will but with a very definite life of its own,
and with whims perverse and beatific." -John Stewart Martin
"Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart
condition?" -Phil Silvers
"The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see
him laughing." -Phyllis Diller
"I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters." -Bob Hope
"The person I fear most in the last two rounds is myself." -Tom Watson
" Everybody has two swings-a beautiful practice swing and the choked-up one
with with which they hit the ball. So it wouldn't do either of us a damned bit
of good to look at your practice swing." -Ed Furgol
"If your caddie coaches you on the tee, 'Hit it down the left side with a
little draw,' ignore him. All you do on the tee is try not to hit the caddie."
-Jim Murray
"Always throw your clubs ahead of you. That way you don't have to waste
energy going back to pick them up." -Tommy Bolt
"Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf
balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve." -Dan Jenkins
"I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators."
-Gerald Ford
"Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the
space between your ears." -Bobby Jones
"Actually, the only time I ever took out a one iron was to kill a tarantula.
And I took a seven to do that." -Jim Murry
"The right way to play golf is to go up and hit the bloody thing." -George
Duncan
"If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell,
and listen- you will hear an alibi." -Fred Beck
"He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which
comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf." -P.G. Wodehouse
"Every rock'n'roll band I know, guys with long hair and tattoos, plays golf
now." -Alice Cooper, 47.
"Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the
whole bottle you will be lucky to survive." -Harvey Penick
"Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot." -Sam Snead (Tnx..JP)
"Happiness is a long walk with a putter." -Greg Norman (Tnx..JoeT)
"You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them."
-Jimmy Demaret (Tnx..TZ)
"Golf is an easy game...It's just hard to play." -unknown (Tnx..KK)
"Playing golf is just like going to a strip club. You're all revved up,
ready to go. But three hours later, you're depressed, plastered, and most of your
balls are missing." -James Clark (tnx..LC)
"The mind messes up more shots than the body." Tommy Bolt (Tnx..AC)
"In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with
clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of
self expression. In America we call it golf."- Becker (Tnx..bs, who's becker?)
"Golf is a sport in which the ball lies poorly but the player well" -Unknown
(Tnx..clv)
"They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated
than that." -Gardner Dickinson (ditto)
“Golf is like marbles for adults”- unknown (Thanks..EMcC)
In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled “Gentlemen Only Ladies
Forbidden”. . . and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.- Not
a quote but a word origin from J.Brown..tnx
GOLF SAYINGS
1. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the
occasional miracle.
2. "I wish I could play my normal game...just once."
3. "Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."
4. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even
during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
5. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely
make a perfect shot.
6. The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."
7. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two
golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.
8. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it
is always possible to get worse.
9. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank
it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and
for no reason at all you really stink.
10. I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
11. If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme Putt", you might
wish to reconsider this game.
12. Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can
finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.
13. Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
14. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't
work... and both are expensive.
15. The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
16. To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
17. In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers... they
shoot a "six," yell "fore" and write "five".
18. Swing easy. Hit hard.
19. If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than
you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality
might not be right for golf...it is also just a matter of time before the IRS
investigates your business.
20. Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
21. Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball
goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the
drinks.
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing
golf with his boss."
Jim Murray.
In golf, humiliations are the essence of the game.--ALISTAIR COOKE
There is nothing natural about the golf swing.--BEN HOGAN
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.--BOBBY
JONES
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.--LEE TREVINO
Golf is a game with the soul of a 1956 Rotarian.--BILL MANDEL
The three things I love best in the world are sex, golf and hunting. Far as I
can see, I ain't about to stop doing any of 'em. --SAM SNEAD
I've done as much for golf as Truman Capote has done for sumo wrestling.
--BOB HOPE
Victory is everything. You can spend the money but you can never spend the
memories.
--KEN VENTURI
No one remembers who came in second. --WALTER HAGEN
Golf is not a game of great shots. It's a game of the most misses. The people
who win make the smallest mistakes. --GENE LITTLER
I think I fail a bit less than everyone else. --JACK NICKLAUS
I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play
from the rough, not just me. --SEVE BALLESTEROS
Unlike the other Scotch game of whisky drinking, excess in it is not
injurious to the health.
--SIR WALTER SIMPSON
When Jack Nicklaus plays well, he wins.
When he plays badly, he finishes second.
When he plays terribly, he finishes third.
--JOHNNY MILLER
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Frank
"I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against
me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win."
-Arnold Palmer
"Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than
nineteen years of dealing with him across the desk." -Grantland Rice
"The fundamental problem with golf is that every so often, no matter how
lacking you may be in the essential virtues required of a steady player, the odds
are that one day you will hit the ball straight, hard, and out of sight. This
is the essential frustration of this excruciating sport. For when you've done
it once, you make the fundamental error of asking yourself why you can't do
this all the time. The answer to this question is simple: the first time was a
fluke." -Colin Bowles
"Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your
opponent is teeing off." -Bruce Lansky
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf
ball." –Jack Lemmon
"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my
one iron, 'caus I know even God can't hit a one iron." -Lee Trevino
"I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the
clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine." -Bruce Lansky
"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only
get to play one round." -Ben Hogan
"My best score ever was 103, but I've only been playing 15 years." -Alex
Karris
"Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at."
-Dave Hill
"Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a
one iron in his bag and squinty eyes." -Dave Marr
"The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics of the
act while you are performing." -Dave Hill
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller
hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." -Winston Churchill
"Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don't
you?" -Ben Hogan
"You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole
with only two in your pocket."-Lee Trevino
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five."
-Paul Harvey
"A lot of guys who have never choked, have never been in the position to do
so." -Tom Watson
"I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out
of them" -Harry Tofcano
"Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely
nothing but an ulcer." -Tommy Bolt
"Golf is based on honesty, where else would you admit to a seven on a par
three?" -Jimmy Demaret
"It's nice to have the opportunity to play for so much money, but it's nicer
to win it." -Patty Sheenan
"I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games." -Ben Hogan
"Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease." -Bertie Forbes
"Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money." -Lee Trevino
"There are no points for style when it comes to putting. It's getting the
ball in the cup that counts." -Brian Swarbrick
"Golf is twenty percent mechanics and technique. The other eighty percent is
philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie,
cussedness, and conversation." -Grantland Rice
"The harder you work, the luckier you get." -Gary Player
"Victory is everything. You can spend the money, but you can never spend the
memories." -Ken Venturi
"Golf is 90 percent inspiration and 10 percent perspiration." -Johnny Miller
"The number one thing about trouble is...don't get into more." -Dave Stockton
"It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on." -Lee Trevino
"Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard
grounder." -Jim Bishop
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work
at it, it's golf." -Bob Hope
"The only shots you can be sure of are those you've had already." -Byron
Nelson
"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at
it." -Jimmy Demaret
"Most golfers prepare for disaster. A good golfer prepares for success." -Bob
Toski
"You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit
it." -Sam Snead
"The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put
into it." -Bob Allen
"Golf is good walk spoiled." -Mark Twain
"We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs. He(Gerald Ford) never
decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot...At least he can't
cheat on his score- because all you have to do is look back down the fairway
and count the wounded." -Bob Hope
"You can't lose an old golf ball." -John Willis
"Indeed, the highest pleasure of golf may be that on the fairways and far
from all the pressures of commerce and rationality, we can feel immortal for a
few hours." -Colman McCarthy
"My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies- one to walk the left rough,
one for the right, and one for the middle. And the one in the middle doesn't
have much to do." -Dave Hill
"When he gets the ball into a tough place, that's when he's most relaxed. I
think it's because he has so much experience at it." -Don Christopher(Jack
Lemmon's Caddie)
"A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of
your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing
over your knees." -Stephen Baker
"There are three ways of learning golf: by study, which is the most
wearisome; by imitation, which is the most fallacious; and by experience, which is the
most bitter." -Robert Browning
"Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well."
-Craig Stadler
"Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that
the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle." -Jackie Gleason
"I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play
from the rough, not just me." -Seve Ballesteros
"We speak of eyeball-to-eyeball encounters between men great and small. Even
more reaching and revealing of character is the eyeball-to-golfball
confrontation, whereby our most secret natures are mercilessly tested by a small, round,
whitish object with no mind or will but with a very definite life of its own,
and with whims perverse and beatific." -John Stewart Martin
"Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart
condition?" -Phil Silvers
"The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see
him laughing." -Phyllis Diller
"I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters." -Bob Hope
"The person I fear most in the last two rounds is myself." -Tom Watson
" Everybody has two swings-a beautiful practice swing and the choked-up one
with with which they hit the ball. So it wouldn't do either of us a damned bit
of good to look at your practice swing." -Ed Furgol
"If your caddie coaches you on the tee, 'Hit it down the left side with a
little draw,' ignore him. All you do on the tee is try not to hit the caddie."
-Jim Murray
"Always throw your clubs ahead of you. That way you don't have to waste
energy going back to pick them up." -Tommy Bolt
"Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf
balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve." -Dan Jenkins
"I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators."
-Gerald Ford
"Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the
space between your ears." -Bobby Jones
"Actually, the only time I ever took out a one iron was to kill a tarantula.
And I took a seven to do that." -Jim Murry
"The right way to play golf is to go up and hit the bloody thing." -George
Duncan
"If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell,
and listen- you will hear an alibi." -Fred Beck
"He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which
comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf." -P.G. Wodehouse
"Every rock'n'roll band I know, guys with long hair and tattoos, plays golf
now." -Alice Cooper, 47.
"Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the
whole bottle you will be lucky to survive." -Harvey Penick
"Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot." -Sam Snead (Tnx..JP)
"Happiness is a long walk with a putter." -Greg Norman (Tnx..JoeT)
"You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them."
-Jimmy Demaret (Tnx..TZ)
"Golf is an easy game...It's just hard to play." -unknown (Tnx..KK)
"Playing golf is just like going to a strip club. You're all revved up,
ready to go. But three hours later, you're depressed, plastered, and most of your
balls are missing." -James Clark (tnx..LC)
"The mind messes up more shots than the body." Tommy Bolt (Tnx..AC)
"In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with
clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of
self expression. In America we call it golf."- Becker (Tnx..bs, who's becker?)
"Golf is a sport in which the ball lies poorly but the player well" -Unknown
(Tnx..clv)
"They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated
than that." -Gardner Dickinson (ditto)
“Golf is like marbles for adults”- unknown (Thanks..EMcC)
In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled “Gentlemen Only Ladies
Forbidden”. . . and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.- Not
a quote but a word origin from J.Brown..tnx
GOLF SAYINGS
1. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the
occasional miracle.
2. "I wish I could play my normal game...just once."
3. "Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."
4. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even
during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
5. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely
make a perfect shot.
6. The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."
7. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two
golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.
8. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it
is always possible to get worse.
9. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank
it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and
for no reason at all you really stink.
10. I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
11. If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme Putt", you might
wish to reconsider this game.
12. Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can
finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.
13. Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
14. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't
work... and both are expensive.
15. The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
16. To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
17. In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers... they
shoot a "six," yell "fore" and write "five".
18. Swing easy. Hit hard.
19. If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than
you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality
might not be right for golf...it is also just a matter of time before the IRS
investigates your business.
20. Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
21. Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball
goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the
drinks.
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing
golf with his boss."
Jim Murray.
In golf, humiliations are the essence of the game.--ALISTAIR COOKE
There is nothing natural about the golf swing.--BEN HOGAN
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.--BOBBY
JONES
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.--LEE TREVINO
Golf is a game with the soul of a 1956 Rotarian.--BILL MANDEL
The three things I love best in the world are sex, golf and hunting. Far as I
can see, I ain't about to stop doing any of 'em. --SAM SNEAD
I've done as much for golf as Truman Capote has done for sumo wrestling.
--BOB HOPE
Victory is everything. You can spend the money but you can never spend the
memories.
--KEN VENTURI
No one remembers who came in second. --WALTER HAGEN
Golf is not a game of great shots. It's a game of the most misses. The people
who win make the smallest mistakes. --GENE LITTLER
I think I fail a bit less than everyone else. --JACK NICKLAUS
I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play
from the rough, not just me. --SEVE BALLESTEROS
Unlike the other Scotch game of whisky drinking, excess in it is not
injurious to the health.
--SIR WALTER SIMPSON
When Jack Nicklaus plays well, he wins.
When he plays badly, he finishes second.
When he plays terribly, he finishes third.
--JOHNNY MILLER
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------~->
Famous Quotes Forum
Famous Quotes
East Valley
Payday Loans
Cash Advance
If you got this from someone else, you can subscribe at
Famous Quotes or by mailto:famous_quotes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/famous_quotes/
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
famous_quotes-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
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