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I don't have quotes on engineers, but I have a joke and a story:

A priest, a drunk, and an engineer were scheduled to die by the guillotine. The priest went first, and when asked whether he'd like to die face down or face up, he said he wanted to go face up so he could see heaven when he passed on.

They strapped him in and lowered the blade but, amazingly, it stopped just short of his neck. They declared it a miracle and strapped in the drunk, who decided that if face-up worked for the priest, it might for him. Then, lo and behold, the blade stopped again, just short of his neck.

The engineer decided that it couldn't hurt, so he requested to go face-up as well. So once again they strapped him in. But just as they were about to lower the blade he said, "Wait a minute, I think I see the problem."

Now for the story:

My dad was an engineer, and my mother's favorite story about him centered around the birth of their third child, my brother. My mom had a history of very short labors, all lasting less than 45-minutes, so when she went into labor it was a rush to get her to the hospital. My brother came a month early, making the urgency of getting to the hospital even greater.

They were driving an old Studebaker, and when they got to the hospital the door handle on my father's side of the car fell off as he opened the door. My mother was already out of the car as my father was screwing the door handle back into place with his thumb nail. As she was standing in the parking lot with her legs crossed screaming at him, "Get me into the hospital now or I'm going to have this baby right here," he looked up calmly as he continued turning the screw and said with no emotion, "You don't understand. This is a very rare screw and if I lose it I'm not sure I'll be able to replace it."




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