Thursday, August 11, 2005

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. ~Dave Barry

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. ~Rodney Dangerfield

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness', but it doesn't work.
~Gallagher




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A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. ~David Brenner

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling ~Unknown

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. Had he run unopposed he would have lost. ~Mort Sahl

Life is a game, whoever has the most money at the end wins
Danny Devito

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I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. ~e. e. cummings

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. ~Sam Levenson

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them. ~Unknown

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. ~Jack Benny


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