Funny Quotes - Famous Funny Quotes - Famous Quotes

Write Quotes

I shall live bad if I do not write and I shall write bad if I do not live.
- Francoise Sagan, The New York Times Book Review (1956)

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
- Phyllis Dillar

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
- Phyllis Dillar

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
- Phyllis Dillar

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run
- Phyllis Dillar

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Dillar

Quotes World
Famous Quotes

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
- W. C. Fields

"Whoever you are, there is some younger person who thinks you are perfect.

There is some work that will never be done if you don't do it.

There is someone who would miss you if you were gone.

There is a place that you alone can fill."

- Jacob M. Braude

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.
- Dame Edna Everage

"If I don't have friends, thenI ain't got nothin'"
- Billie Holiday

"Think where mans glory begins and ends and say my glory was I had such friends."
- William Butler Yeats

"When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always get worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better."
- Malcolm S. Forbes [1919 - 1990]

Famous Quotes

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people."
- Martin Luther King, Jr. [1929-1968]

Funny Quotes Famous Quotes

"There's a sucker born every minute"
- P. T. Barnum

THE CAT

The following is an old anecdote, but a good one. Sometime in the early 1900's, P. T. Barnum, the owner of the Barnum & Bailey circus and originator of the phrase, "There's a sucker born every minute," offered $10,000 in cash to any person who could thoroughly dupe or sucker him.

Barnum was always looking for interesting new acts or novel creatures to exhibit and one day he received a letter from a fellow in Maine who claimed to possess a cherry-colored cat and asked if Barnum were interested in such a thing for his circus. Barnum contacted the man and said yes, if the cat were truly cherry-colored, he'd gladly put it on display.

Well, a few days later a crate marked "live animal" arrived for him. When Barnum opened it, he found a somewhat frightened but otherwise perfectly ordinary-looking black housecat inside, along with a note which read: Maine cherries are black. There's a sucker born every minute.

Thoroughly tickled, Barnum sent the man a check for $10,000 (I'm not sure what happened to the cat, I think Barnum may have kept it as a reminder of the day he got suckered.)

The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water molds itself to the pitcher.
CHINESE PROVERB

Of all strategies, to know when to quit may be the best.
CHINESE PROVERB

Famous Quotes - Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes

"It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson 1803-1882, Poet and Essayist

"We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them."
- Abigail Adams

"To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. The compulsion arises because the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions."
- Eckhart Tolle

You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.
- Malcolm X (Malcolm Little 1925-1965)

Life Quotes

Life is a perpetual flea market, Be careful not to get ticked off.
- Art Tugman